


Good Omens Short fics (Fictober 2019)

by spac3bar7end3r



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Kid Fic, M/M, Nonbinary Beelzebub (Good Omens), Other, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2020-11-24 04:35:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20901722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spac3bar7end3r/pseuds/spac3bar7end3r
Summary: I'm creating this to keep all the Good Omens fics I've been writing for #fictober 2019mainly Ineffable Husbands & Ineffable Bureaucracy





	1. Falling

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt for this is “It will be fun, trust me.”

Three minutes ago an apple just fell from the tree. Despite the fact that there was nothing wrong with it since it was natural for a normal ripe apple to fall, anyone could tell you that, He was still staring intensely at where the fruit touched the ground.

Aziraphale looked at the bruised apple on the damp soil before he glanced up and looked at the tree,  _ the apple tree _ , thinking about what happened earlier...It would not be the same anymore. 

No more happy stories after dinner time with those two lovely humans. No more chattering between him and the couple during the day. The animals were alright but they couldn’t talk or listen. And with God, She listened alright but don’t expect her to answer every time.

The angel of the Eastern Gate sighed. This was more worrying than the flaming sword issue. That, he could ignore but this? This, he could not. It was too quiet. It was...boring.

He tried to convince himself that this was the ineffable plan. Him, standing alone, staring at the ground.

“I didn’t think it would be this damp but well, it’s wayyy better than below.” Crawley strode towards where Aziraphale was while wrinkling his nose as if he tried so hard to not think about hell.

“I thought you went back.” Aziraphale gestured his hand to the ground, mouth mumbling and trying not to offend the fallen angel, but the latter didn’t seem to think of it as an offence.

“Meh, it was boring down there. Dark and moist. Ugh, I think I prefer to be here,” Crawley states nonchalantly. He rolled his snake eyes comically. Aziraphale looked into them before he could control himself. His gaze transfixed by the way the amber reflected by the sun.

“Ahem.” The angel licked his lips, trying to think of something to say. “I’d like to let you know that it’s boring up here too.”

“So you’re bored” The demon teased.

“Of course, I am. You see there’s nothing to do here.”

“Right.” Crawley looked around. It wasn’t like he was not used to Eden already. The guy was the one who went to Eve anyway. “Then how about we go out there and have some fun?”

“FUN? Us?” Aziraphale stressed the word like he could not believe the words that came out of the demon’s mouth. “They wouldn’t like that.”

“Mm,” Crawley mumbled.

Aziraphale hesitated then said, “But it’s not like there’s anything to do here anyway, so…”

Crawley grinned. “Nice.”

* * *

“It will be fun, trust me,” Crawley smirked.

“Crawley, you know that It’s not right for us to do this, right?” Aziraphale took a glimpse at the view down below, swallowing nervously even though he knew they wouldn't die from the height.

“Come on, Angel. It’s not like we’re gonna fall.” 

But they did fall. Well, at least for Aziraphale’s part, but he had not known that yet. Not until his fingers got to briefly touch Crowley’s hot skin while they stood among the remains of the church in London many years later. 

Crawley beamed and jumped off the cliff. The demon let the gravity had fun with his weight before the last second. He spread his wings and swiftly flapped them in the way that no angel in heaven would dare to, considering it would be pointed as too flaunting.

“Of course, you’re not gonna fall. You’ve already fallen.” Aziraphale rolled his eyes then fluttered his white wings rhythmically and jumped off the cliff and follow the owner of the black feathers to the sunset.

He would definitely fall as a result of the demon’s temptation, not for hell but it still counted as fall. But then again, Aziraphale had not known that yet, so he wholeheartedly let Crawley led the way.


	2. Oh My God They Were Roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The co-owner of the room had mysteriously gone since this morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt: “Now? Now you listen to me?”

_ “Now? Now you listen to me?” _

Crowley stared at the pile of books on the desk at the other side of the room. The empty bed next to his did not seem like someone had touched it for hours. The co-owner of the room had mysteriously gone since this morning._ It’s freaking 9 pm now. Where are you, Angel? _

It wasn’t like Aziraphale to abandon his ‘light reading’ books during this time--Crowley rolled his eyes, even calling those thick papers light reading in his head was already ridiculous enough. Now that midterms had gone, it should be a time to celebrate (and by that Aziraphale usually meant locking himself in their room reading all day and night), but where the hell was his roommate?

A jingling sound interrupted the silence as their dorm’s door was unlocked and slightly opened. A fluffy light blond hair appeared at the crack of the door.

“Crowley, you there?” Aziraphale’s bubbly voice disturbed the silence of the room. Crowley decided to pretend like he was not annoyed because of his effort to look for the guy since the middle of the day.

“Yah,” Crowley agreed nonchalantly, throwing himself on the bed.

“Good, I thought you might want to go out with me.” Aziraphale giggled, widening the door.

The guy’s usual attire had been kind of undone. His shirt was unbuttoned except for the last three buttons. His hair was messy as if Aziraphale or someone else had been running fingers through them (Please let it be Aziraphale’s own fingers. Crowley can’t handle the thought of someone being intimate with his cru--roommate).

“Azi--Are you drunk?” Crowley got up and walked towards the blond-haired boy.

“Yasss, I decided to get drunk today.” Aziraphale snapped his fingers, which should not look cute at all because it looked ludicrous as fuck but somehow he managed to look cute doing it.

Crowley got up, going through his closet but then decided that his current clothes were alright enough to go out for a drink or two, so he just grabbed his jacket then looked back at his roommate.

“Aren’t you going out? You don’t wear your glasses today,” Aziraphale asked curiously, eyes staring at the bridge of Crowley’s nose. Now that there were no shades covering the latter’s eyes, the young man’s face looked bare.

“As you can see, Angel, It was night time here. I would 100% get called out if I wear sunglasses during the night.”

“But you wear them all the time! When you were with me.” Aziraphale pouted.

“Right.” Crowley nodded. _ It was because I was with you _. Crowley wouldn’t want the other boy to notice his ‘heart eyes’ (quoted from Anathema, the girl whose room was 2 doors next to them).

* * *

Their backs were leaning against the wall of the pub that Crowley frequently came by during his second year (to come having an existential crisis over his crush on the oblivious idiot next to him, of course). The surrounding noise was ignored when Crowley promptly asked, “Why did you decide to get drunk? It’s not like you. And where were you today?” 

They had been friends since the beginning of their first year and today, the shorter boy’s behaviour was quite unusual.

“I--er,” Aziraphale stammered. Crowley wasn’t sure if it was because he was drunk or because of other reasons.

“What?”

Aziraphale glared at the floor. He briefly shut his eyes before opened them. He huffed exasperatedly then turned his face to Crowley, saying “Fine, it was because of you.”

“Me? Angel, me? Of all people, you were what...mad at me? Why?”

“Last night you said you were gonna get drunk and fool around a little bit.” Aziraphale frowned.

“But I said it all the time!” _ and I had never done it _. Not after he realized his obsession with this nerd. Crowley was too confused to interpret Aziraphale’s unpleasant mood over his action.

“Yeah, but now--”

“Now? Now you listen to me?”

“Dear, imagine listening to those words all these years and then walking into you with your... fling.”

Crowley raised his eyebrows, mouth gaped. “Wha-What? When? Me? Fling? Who?”

Aziraphale shook his head as if he was getting tired of Crowley pretending to not know.

‘“You were with Bee last night when I walked into you guys being… ‘intimate’ and the other night I also saw you going to their room in the middle of the night,” Aziraphale said, stressing the word intimate with air quotes.

“Bee?? Azi, Bee is going out with that marketing major bastard Gabriel, remember?”

“But you two…”

“By intimate, did you mean when we were fighting each other on my bed? Dude, that almost counted as an assault.”

“Don’t dude me.” Aziraphale pointed his finger at Crowley then added, “...But you two were hugging.”

“They were _ strangling _me, Angel.”

“...Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

“So Bee’s…”

“Bloody trying to murder me? Yes. Angel, they were going cray-cray because of their fight with Gabe. Also, please do remember that I’m gay as fuck.” Crowley chuckled.

Aziraphale breathed his relief. He stopped speaking and slowly closed his eyes. He seemed so comfortable even though he was practically leaning on bare concrete, not his favourite linen bedspread.

“I’m sorry...er about, you know, spouting shits about my non-existent love life. I was pining over certain someone.”

Crowley stepped closer to his left, fingers slowly creeping towards where Aziraphale’s hand was spreading on the wall before reaching his little finger to touch Aziraphale’s.

The smallest part of their hand touched. Even though Aziraphale was drunk, he still felt it. He opened his eyes, staring at their fingers next to each other. He briefly glanced at Crowley who was staring intensely back at him before he decided that they were not close enough and stepped closer to Crowley.

The two smiled slowly, simultaneously doing everything and nothing at all. It was as if they had all the time in the world. Though, It didn’t matter if they had them or not because, for them, that moment was infinite enough for their own little dance, mixed with a gentle buzzed of alcohol in their veins, a light touch and a promise of the sugar-coated future.


	3. Worry About Tomorrow Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warlock smirked, asking the same question as Aziraphale earlier. Aziraphale sighed. Is this what parenting feels like? Good lord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the prompt is “No, and that’s final.”

“No, and that’s final,” Aziraphale said, sighing while looking at the rear-view mirror.

“But Brother Francis--”

“No ‘But’, and dear boy, call me Aziraphale now.” He turned back to look at the boy.

Warlock, age 11, after going to the desert with his family and coming back to their estate in England, had decided to run away from home. Now he was currently sitting on the backseat of Crowley’s Bentley. Crowley who was driving at the moment had mumbled some inaudible things for a while now (but if one could hear his words, it would be something like ‘how could the kid remember me’ or something similar).

Ten minutes ago after Aziraphale decided to go have lunch with Crowley, two weeks after they changed ‘face’, Warlock who was wandering around the area, had noticed him and jumped on his back as fast as he could. Aziraphale was surprised and almost used a miracle on the boy since he thought it was either hell or heaven planning to strike them back.

Was this also the ineffable plan? The kid wasn’t even the antichrist, so why? Why did they meet again?

“He’s our godson!” Aziraphale whispered frantically when Crowley complained which made him completely shut up. _ Their _godson.

“But I want to go to Mcdonald’s!”

“Warlock, we’re sending you back to your home,” Aziraphale crossed his arms.

“But it’s boring! Didn’t Azi say you guys were gonna have lunch? Bring me there too!” Warlock kicked Aziraphale’s seat bitterly.

“Don’t do that! We’ve never taught you to be this...disobedient” Aziraphale huffed and Crowley nodded in accordance with the angel’s words and said, “Yes, I taught you to stomp not kick, remember?”

“Crowley!”

Warlock hummed cheerfully. He took his yellow game console out of his backpack, turned it on and ignored the grumpy adults in front of him.

“We can’t drive him like this. We don’t even have a car seat for him!”

“We can miracle it like that time with the bike rack? Plus Warlock is already eleven anyway, angel,” Crowley said nonchalantly while turning to the direction of the restaurant.

“Nanny, why can’t we go to Mcdonald’s?” Warlock complained while his eyes still glued to the console’s screen.

“Because Aziraphale said he wanted to come here. It’s ‘first come, first served’, kid.” Crowley did the air quotes before going back to drive the car. Warlock pouted. “What are we eating? I don’t eat fish. It stinks.”

“Yeah yeah, we know. Did you forget we babysat you until you were six?” Aziraphale waved his hand before looking up at the mirror, Warlock’s long hair covering his face. The boy still looked the same. Aziraphale smiled, thinking of the time Warlock following him in the garden.

“Yup, and then you guys came back for my birthday party not long ago which was lame by the way. Seriously, magic? In this age?”

Crowley glanced up to find Aziraphale’s expression which was the same as him; stunned. “You knew it was us?”

“Yes?” The boy glanced up from his game, “You mean, that was not your intention?”

“No...look at me--and him.” Crowley pointed at himself and Aziraphale who mumbled, “Crowley, dear, please look at the road.”

“Nanny, Brother Francis, Did you forget you guys babysat me until I was six?” Warlock smirked, asking the same question as Aziraphale earlier. Aziraphale sighed. I_ s this what parenting feels like? Good lord. _

Crowley laughed wildly. If there was anyone who did not know him in this car, they would be surprised by that, but since it was Aziraphale and Warlock who were quite used to Crowley (or Nanny Ashtoreth)’s eccentric personality, they just shrugged.

“Aziraphale, let’s just postpone the date. I want to bring the kid to the Antichrist and...what do they call themselves again? The them? and see how it’s going for a day.” (Warlock yelled, “What is the Antichrist and does that mean I get to go to Mcdonald’s!?!” but he was ignored.)

Aziraphale sighed, saying “Fine, but at least do something about Warlock’s situation. His parents might be worried.”

“Don’t worry. Mom is out, dad is at somewhere important, I guess.” Warlock said cheerfully then added, “I don’t think they would be worried or mad… but that’s fine since I have you guys! You are on my side, right?” Warlock put down the game and poked his face in the middle of the front seats.

Crowley turned to look at the boy, the corner of his mouth raised up. “Yeah, _ you’re on our side _.”

Aziraphale sighed but he smiled anyway, “Fine, we’ll send you home tomorrow.” and then he decided to be a strict parent because Crowley was useless. He knew the demon would get soft for the boy, so he added, “And please, put your seat belt on.”


	4. Taste Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s like Romeo and Juliet but it’s a teenager version.”  
“Actually Michael, Romeo and Juliet are also teenagers.” Aziraphale pointed out, not looking up from his book then added, “But no, it’s nothing like Romeo and Juliet. We are both males.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gosh writing everyday is hard  
this chapter's prompt is “There is a certain taste to it.”

**Taste Like You**

_“There is a certain taste to it.”_

“It’s like Romeo and Juliet but it’s a teenager version.”

“Actually Michael, Romeo and Juliet are also teenagers.” Aziraphale pointed out, not looking up from his book then added, “But no, it’s nothing like Romeo and Juliet. We are both males.”

“Details.” Michael rolled his eyes. “Where’s Gabe?”

“Toilet?” Aziraphale guessed before looked around then he noticed someone’s eyes staring directly at him. He quickly changed the direction of his glance towards Michael instead.

“Yes, he’s been looking at you for a while now. It’s painfully obvious.”

“Well…” Aziraphale tried not to turn back. He put down his book and began to eat his lunch.

“What’s up nerds!” Gabriel suddenly sat on the chair in front of Aziraphale cheerfully.

“You’re also a nerd.”

“Me? Please, Azi, do I look anything like a nerd? I completely changed my style during a break.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Aziraphale took a bite of his sandwich, pretend not to care about his friends.

“By the way, that dude Crowley was staring at our friend Azi again.” Michael wriggled his eyebrows which made Gabriel smirked. “Really? That guy must have a crush on you.”

Aziraphale widened his eyes, cheeks glowing.

“And it seems like this guy is also having a crush on him.”

“But--but we’re in different circles. He looks a lot cooler than me.” Aziraphale looked down at his earth-tone clothes and sighed.

“Aaand you don’t deny it.” Anathema who had been looking down on her phone concluded which made Aziraphale glowed red even more.

Aziraphale turned back to look at Crowley but the guy already turned back to his group, chatting with...Hastur? He couldn’t remember anyone’s name except Crowley.

Crowley was a year older than him, so there were not many chances Aziraphale could see him. The first time he noticed the guy was the day he went into the music room, looking for the notes he forgot. Crowley and his bandmates were playing music loudly.

Crowley’s long fingers grabbed at the drumsticks. It was the fact that drummers were those who are always at the back of the room and barely noticeable most of the time. However, that didn’t apply to Crowley at all. His sunglasses and leather jacket stole the show (and of course, stole Aziraphale’s heart).

He didn’t want to admit it but the senior made him having a gay epiphany for days.

Aziraphale sighed. He said some excuse like a stomach ache to his friends but he actually wanted to spend the rest of lunch break at his usual place at the library.

When he came to the deepest corner of the school library, there was a leather jacket laying on the table there (and Aziraphale didn’t want to admit it but he knew whose jacket was that since he always looked at the owner of the jacket and it made him realize months ago that apparently Crowley owned about four leather jackets that almost looked the same).

“Man, you sure walk fast, eh?” A breathy voice loudened behind him. Aziraphale quickly turned back.

“What--why are you here? Why is your jacket over there?”

“Well, you always  _ sit  _ there.” Crowley raised his eyebrows.

So this did confirm that it was not only Aziraphale that always stared.

“Ahem.” The younger boy coughed lightly then added, “That still doesn’t answer my question.”

“Well…” Crowley looked at the ground then at the ceiling, the wall, anywhere except Aziraphale. “You know there’s a prom thing in the next two weeks, right?”

Aziraphale nodded, swallowing his nervousness.

“It wasn’t a prom though. More like a social event--”

“Yes, we still treat it as prom. It’s definitely a prom thing, you nerd.” Crowley smiled before remembering what he was going to say then his smile faltered a little. “So...wanna go with me?”

“...”

Crowley licked his lips which distracted Aziraphale for a second. He took a deep breath then said, “I thought you weren’t gonna go.”

“You thought?”

“Well, I thought you would go but as a musician and you have your friends and other cooler people to be with--”

“I’m going if you’re going with me,” Crowley said casually. “I mean, I won’t have the power to go by myself or even play the drum if I have a broken heart.” Crowley pouted childishly. He noticed Aziraphale’s expression now. In fact, he had already seen a lot of Aziraphale’s expressions while he looked at the other boy from afar, he didn’t know why he was nervous at all. 

Aziraphale was wearing a heart on his sleeve, the one that Crowley wanted since the day the younger boy had forgotten his notes in the music room.

“Erm...yes?” Aziraphale replied quietly.

“Was that a reply or a question.”

“I want to go with you.” Aziraphale looked up at Crowley shyly from his lashes, smiling lightly.

Crowley smiled. “Good. Can I kiss you?”

Aziraphale didn’t frame his reply as a question again. It didn’t end with a question mark as the last time he said yes, it ended with a kiss.

“There is a certain taste to it.” Crowley licked his lips after he moved away from Aziraphale, eyes looking down at the other’s wet lips.

“Yes... your cigarette.”

“Hm? More like peanut butter.”

“God, you aren’t allergic to peanut, are you?” Aziraphale retracted himself and stared at Crowly, looking serious.

“Haha, fortunately no. I’m allergic to you.” Crowley smirked, shifting himself closer. “You. Are. Seriously. Cute.” Every word he said, he stressed it with light kisses on Aziraphale’s facial features; his eyelids, his nose and his mouth.

“Don’t treat me like a kid.” Aziraphale pouted, cheeks glowing.

“Alright.” Crowley grinned before heartily deepening the kiss on the other boy’s lips.


	5. In Which Beelzebub Decided to Take A Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub shrugged, “Ask the other princes. I’m tired after that Crowley fiasco. I’m taking vacation leave.”  
“And what the hell is that?”  
“Dunno. One of heaven’s creations, I think. The one that we countered with Vacation Blue.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ineffable Bureaucracies after the armageddon.  
prompt:  
“It’s not always like this.”

“I’m going up,”

Beelzebub, Prince of Hell, Lord of Flies said while spreading on the throne? Chair? Whatever it was, it was uncomfortable as fuck but Hell wasn’t a comfortable place and they didn’t care about it that much anyway.

“Why?” One of the hell goonies asked.

Beelzebub squinted their eyes, “Just because I want to.”

If Crowley could go up there and causing some random shits like that for six thousand years then, of course, they could.

“But what about the matters around here?” Another demon pointed around the damp place. Beelzebub shrugged, “Ask the other princes. I’m tired after that Crowley fiasco. I’m taking vacation leave.”

“And what the hell is that?”

“Dunno. One of heaven’s creations, I think. The one that we countered with Vacation Blue.”

“Ah, _ That _.”

Beelzebub got up then got out of the room.

* * *

“Why does your fashion look like a 13-year-old human?” Gabriel walked on the beach barefoot, looking like a tourist wearing a Hawaiian shirt and beige shorts.

Beelzebub slightly opened their mouth, tilting their head. “Why are you here? And do you even know what a 13-year-old human looks like?” Beelzebub stretched their legs, challenging the archangel to say something about their outfit. _ Look at yourself,_ they wanted to say. Dressing like that.

They didn’t know much about the human world, mind you. It was other demons’ job, not theirs. Their job was just making sure everything went according to the Great Plan, but now? Now, what was their job anyway? Beelzebub couldn’t believe after all this time after the fall, they still had to have another existential crisis.

“Of course, I am always taking measures to see how these human beings have evolved.” Gabriel raised his hands as if to say, _ see? This is the epitome of the master in human knowledge looks like._

Beelzebub kicked the sand with their boots to Gabriel’s direction. “You still haven’t answered my question. Why are you here?”

“I--” Gabriel opened his mouth to answer but before he could get it out, Beelzebub interrupted, “Wait, I don’t care anyway. Go away.” They got up and walked away.

“Hey, I wasn’t finished--”

“I don’t care.” Beelzebub walked away.

“Fine, but you’re gonna be overheated with that kind of clothing covering the human body of yours!” Gabriel yelled from behind but they decided that they didn’t care. 

A little girl, aged around nine or ten years old, looked up. She was sitting alone, digging the sand with a toy shovel.

“Hi,” She said to Beelzebub, smiling.

Beelzebub decided to sit on the plastic chair not too far from her. When they looked around, they didn’t see the archangel anymore. Beelzebub frowned.

“Are you fighting with your friend?”

“He’s not my friend,” They quickly answered when the girl asked as if it was the answer they always prepared to respond with--but to whom?

“Oh, an enemy then?”

They raised one eyebrow, “No, he’s not my friend nor an enemy, well, not anymore. He’s… nothing.”

“Can someone be a ‘nothing’ to you? Is that a thing?” The girl tilted her head, stopping her hand and throwing the shovel on the sand.

“I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it.” Beelzebub looked at their shoes.

“If he’s nothing then why are you guys yelling at each other. I don’t think yelling is good.” The girl pouted. Maybe she’s thinking of her own family, or friends, Beelzebub thought.

“...It’s not always like this. Well, before the fall” Beelzebub crossed their legs, looking at the kid’s innocent eyes.

If one of the demons saw them sitting ridiculously on the plastic beach chair, they would either lose respect as the prince of hell or they possibly not care at all. All the demons only cared about themselves (read: Crowley and also, Beelzebub themselves).

“What fall?”

“_ The _ fall.” Beelzebub grinned mischievously, asking, “Would you believe if I said I was an angel?”

“I don’t know, would you?” The girl asked back.

“Would I what? Believe if I was an angel? Hah!” Beelzebub shook their head, “I don’t think I would but unfortunately it’s true.”

“But don’t angels suppose to wear all white? You wear black.” The girl pointed at them.

“Because they don’t know we look hot in black,” Beelzebub smirked.

“What’s your name anyway? Where are your… I don’t know, human adults?”

Beelzebub took off their plaid jacket while waiting for an answer. They looked up and cursing at the sun and the almighty, whoever took charge of this goddamn heat.

“This is why I said you should dress as a part of the human world if you want to stay here with that body.” Gabriel appeared behind, holding two cups of soda.

“Where’s mine?” The little girl asked.

“Buy your own,” Gabriel said and throwing himself on the plastic chair next to them.

Beelzebub snapped their fingers then one of the cups in Gabriel's hand had miraculously appeared in the girl’s hand instead.

“Who allows you to sit beside me?” Beelzebub asked grumpily while reaching for the plastic cup in Gabriel’s other hand.

“Um, me?” Gabriel pointed at himself.

Beelzebub shrugged. They decided not to care, and since this is their break, they wouldn’t give a shit anymore. If the archangel wanted to sit beside them, getting all chummy like the good old days then be it.

Gabriel reached for the cup and took it back without asking for Beelzebub’s permission. He drank the beverage then his expression became distorted. (_ If you dislike consuming human’s weird production then why resist on drinking it, idiot. _)

“Don’t you have nothing better to do instead of sitting here with me at an empty beach?” They asked after a 5 minute of trying not to be interested and failed.

“No,” Gabriel answered, kicking the sand with his sandals. He got quiet for a second before looking up, asking, “What would God say if she saw us like this?”

“Congrats?” The girl said while her two little hands building a sandcastle. Gabriel lightly kicked the base to make it falter and laughed a little when the girl shouted _ hey _.

“Like hell she would say that.” Beelzebub shook their head. God probably says nothing at all. They thought.

“She may say that or be angry at us...To be honest, I don’t know. After those Armageddon mishaps, I wonder if what I thought of her is true at all.” Gabriel sighed.

“Well, I’m glad I am not the only one having an existential crisis,” they said.

“Great!” Gabriel clapped his hands. “Then do you wanna take a break together? I came here to ask you this since I figured you would mope around too. We could go anywhere, like the olden days.” Gabriel got up then turned around and offered them a hand.

Beelzebub glanced at the hand nervously for a long time before taking it.

“We could... but do not speak about the past anymore or I will cut your tongue.”

Gabriel nodded, looking at their eyes with the expression they cannot read. Beelzebub stared at the lilac colour that they hadn’t seen this close in a long time.

“Congrats you two. I thought you guys weren’t gonna reconcile or even talk with each other for other millennia.” The girl sighed while dusting off her blue pants and got up.

When Gabriel and Beelzebub heard that they turned back to look at her but the little girl disappeared. Nothing. Even a toy shovel was gone.

The Archangel and the Prince of Hell turned around to look at each other again, mouth slightly opened.

“Well, turns out she really did say congrats after all.” Beelzebub shrugged after being able to compose themselves then grinned, “And archangel Gabriel, you were kicking God’s sandcastle earlier and even deny to give her a soda.”


	6. Small Iced Vanilla Latte For Archangel Fucking Gabriel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Ineffable bureaucracy)  
It’s 9 o’clock in the morning and Sam already wants to go back to her dorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the prompt: “I never knew it could be this way.”

It’s 9 o’clock in the morning and Sam already wants to go back to her dorm and take a long nap to the next day or next week, if possible. She looks at the clock and the empty coffee shop, sighing. Seven hours until she can go back.

“One iced vanilla latte.” Someone with a bored voice murmurs behind Sam while she is organizing a shelf. She turns back and sees a customer with an androgynous look.  _ They  _ (Of course, Sam is woke, alright? She’s not going to assume someone’s gender beforehand, especially for a barista with a minimum wage who works her ass off to go to school, she’s not gonna make someone mad.)

“Hi, one iced vanilla latte...size?”

“Size?” They raise one of their eyebrows like they don’t understand what Sam is talking about.

Alright, the first-time coffee shop’s customer, I guess, Sam presumes.

“A cup size for your coffee.” She smiles.

“Okay, that Tall one.”

“Sorry, we don’t have the same size names like Starbuck. We have three sizes for ice beverages; Small, Medium, and Large. So I believe you want a Small one?”

“I guess. Whatever.”

The barista nods, jotting the abbreviation of the order on the plastic cup while her customer complains about something. Sam only catches some of it which are “Stupid size names” and “Always Crowley’s doing” but it doesn’t make any sense, so she just ignores it like an ideal barista would do for the customers.

“Okay, name?”

“What? We’re not done yet?” The customer looks at Sam incredulously, tapping their fingers on the counter.

“We’re almost there.” Sam smiles her  _ Customer-is-God _ smile. “I just need to write the name of who the coffee is for.”

The customer smiles. Their bored face lightens up mischievously. They nod and says, “The Archangel fucking Gabriel.”

Sam wants to look surprised. She wants to but she wouldn’t look surprised anymore after listening to some hilarious and some lame names for countless of times since she’s been working here, so she just nods nonchalantly at the childish customer.

The customer pays her and walks to the table for two, not far from the counter. They spread on the chair like it is the most comfortable chair in the world. (It is not.)

So, her customer is not god but a fucking Archangel himself. Whatever, if the archangel doesn’t tip her then she doesn’t care.

“A small Iced Vanilla Latte for the Archangel f-ing Gabriel,” Sam shouts, censoring herself as well. 

Instead of the person who ordered the coffee, a new guy who just entering the door walks straight to the counter and picks the cup.

“Sir, that’s--”

“It’s mine. I’m Archangel fucking Gabriel.” The new customer, the Archangel fucking Gabriel gives Same a toothy smile before he adds, “No worry, Woman. I’m with them.”

Sam raises her eyebrows skeptically, “Alright.”

“Wow, I thought you were going to dress like that time with the Antich--I mean the Adam kid.”

Sam doesn’t want to eavesdrop these two or anything but they sit really close to the counter. Plus, she is bored. It’s a miraculously slow morning, as if everyone just decides not to come to this coffee shop except these two weird customers.

“What’s with you and your comment about my attire? And no, I stop listening to those goonies convincing me about the 21th century clothes after I got to see what they really look like when I came up last time.”

“My lot is not different. I can’t believe I’ve been listening for all those stupid shits Sandalphon spewing.”

Gabriel drinks his iced coffee and twists his mouth immediately. Sam wants to jump from behind the counter and asks ‘What’s wrong with my coffee?’ but the other customer grabs at the cup, opening the plastic lid and drank it all in one go. ICE INCLUDED.

The black-haired customer chews the ice nonchalantly. They stare at Gabriel’s face until they finish chewing and say,

“I never knew it could be this way.” 

“What way?” The archangel asks. Sam secretly shakes her head. Do I really have to address him as an archangel? It’s ridiculous.

“Quiet. Peaceful.” The customer with a black hair says and continues, “I can’t believe I’m gonna say this but I can see now why Crowley likes it here.”

“Me too.” Gabriel nods.

“I want what they have.”

“What?”

“I don’t know...relationship?” They glance up and look at the other man at the opposite side of the table.

Gabriel stares intensely at the other customer.

“Me too,” He answers.

Sam stops what she’s been doing for a while now and starts to get invest in these two’s business. What does that mean? Are they together now?

Before she can say or think anything more, the two customers look up. Gabriel raises his hand to the sky, pulls it down and snaps his fingers while the other customer pulled their hand from below and snap their fingers in the same rhythm.

.

.

_ It’s 9 o’clock in the morning and Sam already wants to go back to her dorm _


	7. The Times Aziraphale Realized He Had Fallen (in love with a demon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter's prompt is “Secrets? I love secrets.”

**1 Time Right After They Get on That Bus**

Aziraphale feels too giddy to realize that he didn’t only grab the demon’s hand but is also cradling it in his hands, talking happily about their dinner.

“It’s already late. All the stores are gonna close soon and you don’t like pubs that much.” Crowley says, looking down at their intertwining hands but says nothing about them. Now that he takes notice, Aziraphale also glances down at them. He cannot see past the sunglasses, so he assumes Crowley doesn’t think much about it.

He feels his heart beats weirdly. Is this the effect of the Antichrist bringing his body back? He doesn’t think so. He felt like this from time to time since... well, he never takes note, but now it’s stronger than before.

“Angel?” Crowley calls him when he notices Aziraphale spacing out.

“Oh, well, I prefer a quiet place.” Aziraphale answers and Crowley acknowledges it with some kind of noise from his throat. 

“I was thinking maybe we can cook? Unless you don’t like cooking at your place then I totally under--”

“Yeah, we can.” Crowley quickly answers. “I’ve never used my kitchen before but you’re welcome to use it.”

Crowley’s kitchen is spotlessly clean. Well, it’s not like the demon needs to cook. They don’t even need to eat. However, Aziraphale appreciates the kitchen. He’s not sure why Crowley bothered to build it since he won’t ever use it anyway.

“Hey Angel, do you normally sleep? I have a spare room and I can miracle a bed for you.” Crowley’s head appears on the doorway. He takes off his glasses and Aziraphale is really glad for that. He really likes Crowley’s eyes.

“I don’t sleep but I lie on it sometimes. You don’t have to do that though, I can read some books in the living room. We’ve spent a lot of our power during the day.”

“Nah, It’s not that hard to miracle a bed, or if you want to spare my power we can sleep on the same bed.” Crowley grins.

Aziraphale blushes. He doesn’t know why. Although he likes the look on Crowley’s face. Although Crowley smiles a lot, most of the time it should be counted as sneering instead. But here in Crowley’s home, he smiles with eyes glinting and mouth spreading widely. Crowley’s being playful and he loves that.

He loves Crowley’s smile.

He loves Crowley.

…

..

.

Oh.

_ Oh _.

He’s stupid. He’s an angel. He’s supposed to detect the feeling of love, but he can’t even recognize it when it comes from himself. 

“What?” Crowley’s eyebrows raising when he sees Aziraphale blushing.

“No, no, nothing at all.”

They had dinner later that evening (mostly Aziraphale’s part and Crowley just drank and stared). They talked about what ‘changing face’ from Agnes’s prophecy could be before they decide yes, literally changing face it is. Why not?

So that’s why he looks like Crowley, staring dazedly in Crowley’s bathroom mirror the morning after, waiting for what may come after.

“I’ll be damn.”

Aziraphale is not sure whether he cannot cope with the thought that Gabriel might come and get him or the thought of him falling in love with his best friend.

**1 Time When Crowley Gives Him His Plant**

“What’s this?”

“Mint,” Crowley answers curtly.

“And what do I do with it? Eat?”

Crowley rolls his eyes, pointing his hands at the pot in Aziraphale’s hands. “Angel, it’s in a bloody pot. You grow it.”

“Who? Me?” Aziraphale pointed at himself in a confused manner. Why would Crowley suddenly give him mint? Aziraphale doesn’t have something you would call a green thumb.

“Yesss! I’m giving it to you. A gift!” Crowley’s voice gets higher.

“A gift! Dear, thank you. What’s the occasion?” Aziraphale smiles brightly. He lowers his head to smell the fresh scent of the leaves.

“Ughhh…. Housewarming? You didn’t move but it’s technically a new home. Uh, since that Adam kid built it back and stuff.” Crowley mumbles.

“Oh, you’re so sweet.” Aziraphale smiles at Crowley, his heart feels warm. He tries to control it. He doesn’t know if Crowley still feels love like an angel or not but he’s not gonna risk it and make it weird.

“You’re welcome.”

“I’m gonna put it in the book shop. Can’t wait to see it grow!” Aziraphale says chirpily.

“I will come and see it from time to time to make sure that it grows alright.” Crowley stares intensely at the plant in the pot. Its leaves shake lightly.

“Please do. I know you’re good at taking care of plants.” _ And I want you to visit me more often _. Aziraphale didn’t say that out loud. He stares at the plant. It doesn’t look keen to meet Crowley often. Aziraphale wants to pity the poor plant, but he wants to see Crowley more.

**1 Time When He Wants What Anathema and Newt Have**

One Saturday morning Crowley decides to drive Aziraphale to Tadfield to visit Anathema. Anathema told them about Agnes’ book and how they decided to burn it while Newt is looking busy in the kitchen.

“I know it’s the best for them but a little part of me wants to know what Agnes wrote.”

“Probably something nice, and accurate,” Crowley says nonchalantly. Aziraphale gazes fondly at Crowley being Crowley. He knows it the same gaze Anathema used to look at Newt.

The only difference is they have each other while Aziraphale doesn’t have Crowley.

Ouch. That’s hurt a bit. Aziraphale doesn’t know where it hurts but still.

He has Crowley. Crowley is everywhere when he needs him. He always has dinner with Aziraphale. He even gave him plant! But Aziraphale wants more. He craves. He craves the longing look and the touching, the thing that humans do.

A part of him wishes Crowley would notice it but another part of him knows it would be a terrible idea.

“I want to know about something.” Like his future with Crowley. Did Agnes know about how Aziraphale would fall in love with a demon? He believes she did, but what would happen after this though?

“What? What do you want to know?” Crowley raises his left eyebrow, looking curious.

“Just...stuff,” Aziraphale answers. His gaze shifts to the window. “Oh look, the them are here! Let’s greet them.”

Aziraphale stands up abruptly and walks to the front door. Crowley knows the Angel is hiding something but he doesn’t know what it is.

**1 Time When Crowley Realizes Aziraphale Has a Secret And Discover What It is**

“This place has a lot of plants.” Crowley looks around, scrutinizing leaves and flowers of the plants inside the restaurant. It might be Aziraphale’s imagination but he feels the plants’ nervousness, or maybe that feeling is oozing from himself. He wants to make sure that Crowley likes it here.

“They do.” Aziraphale nods. “I think you would find it more interesting if there’s a place you can enjoy too.”

“What? I always enjoy myself every time I’m with you,” Crowley says easily and Aziraphale wants to smile. He knows Crowley doesn’t mean it like that but still, it’s good to hear that Crowley enjoy being with him.

“But you just always sit and stare. Well, and drink occasionally.”

“That’s how I enjoy myself.” Crowley takes a sip out of his glass. Aziraphale looks at the demon from under his lashes and smiles.

“But sometimes I enjoy talking too, you know.” Crowley interrupts the meal suddenly as if he’s been keeping to himself for a while and wants to let it out.

“Yeah, dear, me too.” Aziraphale nods.

“Well, then…” Crowley shifts himself in his seat. He leans back and looks at Aziraphale’s face seriously before asking, “What’s with you lately? You’re keeping something from me. I can feel it.”

What? This fast? Aziraphale thinks to himself.

“What do you mean?” The angel feigns casualness. He raises one of his eyebrows at Crowley.

“Angel, lately you’ve been...spacing out when we’re together. What are you thinking? Did those guys from Up There say something to you?” Crowley’s eyebrows knitting. He looks concerned and Aziraphale is beginning to panic.

_ Should he tell Crowley or should he not? _

“Well, It’s been six thousand years, I ought to have a secret or two, don't I?” Aziraphale coughs lightly. He feigns ignorance as he picking vegetables on the plate. Crowley hums lightly.

“Secrets? I love secrets.”

_ And I love you _. Aziraphale thinks to himself while looking at Crowley from under his eyelashes, blushing.

“What is it, angel? We don’t need to have secrets anymore, you know?”

“Erm--I will tell you, dear, when the time is right.” Aziraphale wipes the sweat on his forehead nervously (He has been living in this body for a long time, well, except that time with Madame Tracy, but he’s never realized he could sweat like this. Not even the time when God asked about her sword, not Armageddon, but _ this _).

Crowley squints his eyes, looking like a snake, well he is a snake after all.

“When is the right time? Time is stupid,” Crowley says and Aziraphale shrugs.

Crowley is going to say something again but Aziraphale secretly signalled a waiter to come to their table and the conversation is interrupted.

\- - -

Crowley’s fingers are lightly knocking at the steering wheel while they’re driving back to the city. Aziraphale can see that there’s something inside his best friend’s mind but he doesn’t want to speak it out. In case the demon still wants to know about his secret.

“That meal was so delightful, wasn’t it?” Aziraphale tries to change the subject, for the fourth time since they got inside the Bently.

“Yeah, I guess.” Crowley nods and looks outside the window.

“I noticed they had the same plants you have back in your pl--”

“Angel, what is your secret?” Crowley asks _ again _. He doesn’t seem like he wants to talk about plants. At all.

Aziraphale knows that he likes--or even loves Crowley, but he’s never thought liking someone would be this hard to keep it to himself, even though he’s an angel, for god’s sake.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to…”

“I just want to know in case I can do something about it. I believe I can do something about it.” Crowley steps on the brake pedal before he turns his head completely to Aziraphale.

That’s it. He doesn’t care anymore if the demon knows or not.

“Fine! If you must know, Crowley, I’ve fallen!” Aziraphale lets his frustration out.

“What? Who told you? Gabriel?” Crowley looks around then looks at Aziraphale as if he’s expecting a pair of black wings coming out of his Angel’s back.

“No, I’ve fallen...in love…. with you.” Aziraphale sighs dramatically.

“Oh well, angel.” Crowley sighs, shaking his head.

Aziraphale swallows. Is this where Crowley says Aziraphale is spending too much time on earth and thinks too much like a human?

“Took you long enough.” Crowley smiles. He steps on the gas pedal and before Aziraphale knows it, they’re already parking in front of the book shop.

**And The Time When Crowley Confesses That He Has Fallen Twice**

“You expect me to fall? I mean--to fall in love with you?”

“Well, yes! It’s normal to want the feelings to be reciprocated, isn’t it?”

“Reci--Crowley, are you saying what I’m thinking?”

Crowley rolls his eyes, “Yes, Aziraphale, I am hopelessly, stupidly, in love with you,” Crowley says, leaning back on his seat.

“But I--”

“I hope you would fall for me. Well, not literally fall like me but being romantically in love with me. I’ve been hoping that for years.”

Aziraphale looks at Crowley then look at the world outside the Bentley, to convince himself that he isn’t hallucinating.

“You know...I’ve fallen twice.”

Aziraphale tilts his head. He doesn’t understand what the demon means.

“First time was up there and the second one was with you.” Crowley nods his head to Aziraphale’s direction. “I fell in love with a bloody angel, a stupid one,” Crowley complains. “I mean, I think I was pretty obvious--I **knew **I was pretty obvious, with all the invitations, gifts, dates--”

“Those were dates?”

“Oh my god, Aziraphale, YES.”

“Gifts? I thought you were just generous.”

“Have you ever seen me being generous elsewhere?”

“I thought it was because we’ve known each other for a really long time!”

Crowley rolls his eyes again. Aziraphale thinks Crowley’s mannerisms remind him of the them (but more adorable). But before he can tell his remark to Crowley, the demon moves closer and lightly kisses Aziraphale mouth, then softly brushes his mouth to the angel’s nose.

“Still not convinced?”

Aziraphale folds his lips and looks at the amber eyes in front of him, “I may need more of your persuasion.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/spac3bar7end3r)


	8. Maybe I Don't Want Heaven? (in. bureaucracy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I heard you have my boy.”  
Gabriel perks up. Beelzebub stares at Gabriel and turns their head away as if to say, No, not you.  
What a shame. Gabriel could easily be Beelzebub’s boy. If they want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the prompt for this chapter is “Yes, I admit it, you were right.”

“Archangel Gabriel, I believe you have gone local.” One of the agents of Heaven says while Gabriel is sitting at his desk, reading humans’ newspaper.

“What? Gone local? Me? No way.” Gabriel’s voice gets higher. He puts down the newspaper and looks at the angel in front of him. “I know I have too much human knowledge but no need to fear, there’s no way I’ve gone local like Aziraphale.” Gabriel shudders. What even is Aziraphale at this point? He doesn’t know and doesn’t care to know.

“Really? Then what’s that?” The angel squints their eyes at the newspaper and Gabriel just shrugs, putting it down on his desk. “I want to keep up with humans. We don’t have a reliable intel down there anymore,” Gabriel complains, thinking of Aziraphale again. He knows that that guy is staying with the demon Crowley now. _ Romantically _.

What the fuck is romantic anyway? Gabriel doesn’t understand.

“Lord Beelzebub, what’s the occasion?” Some angel at the door says while Gabriel is trying to look busy doing nothing. He looks up and sees Beelzebub, Lord of The Flies, Prince of Hell, Crush of Gabriel, standing behind the door, looking grumpy.

Well, okay. Gabriel understands a romantic a little bit when he looks at Beelzebub’s annoyed face.

“I heard you have my boy.”

Gabriel perks up. Beelzebub stares at Gabriel and turns their head away as if to say, _ No, not you. _

What a shame. Gabriel could easily be Beelzebub’s boy. If they want.

Wait. Where’s that thought come from?

“The Disposable one.”

“They were named Disposable, so just let us have them.” Gabriel shrugs, glancing at the poor demon who sits far in the corner. He constantly looks at Gabriel and then at Beelzebub like a lost child. “What’s the fucking point of the demon being up here? We’re meant to be down there.”

Beelzebub waves their hand and the Disposable Demon’s ears perk up. He stands up and slowly jogging his way to the prince of hell.

Gabriel understands what Beelzebub means. They fell, so they have to stay down there. Although he doesn’t mind one demon or two to stay up here and entertain him. Heaven is boring. If it’s not because of his responsibility, Gabriel might take a break on earth like what Aziraphale did. Well, anything but eating gross matter.

“You know that humans don’t really read that, right?” Beelzebub uses their index finger and thumb to pick up the newspaper on Gabriel’s desk.

“What? They do read it. It’s a newspaper.” Gabriel sees it with his own eyes when he was briefly visiting the earth not long ago.

“It’s a fucking leaflet from a supermarket.”

“Really? Hm, I guess that's why I couldn’t see many humans in the paper. I thought they’re just really really interested in ham.” The archangel throws the leaflet on the floor. Beelzebub looks at it for a semi-second before it engulfs in flames.

Gabriel smiles. He stares at Beelzebub’s face. He really likes the contrast between the demon and the whitewashed floor. Beelzebub’s entire being looks so gloomy compared to the bright decorations of heaven. Their hair looks strikingly black which is so different from Gabriel’s pale one. He’s always liked looking at Beelzebub’s hair, even when it was long.

_ Even before the Fall. _

“Sod off, stop looking at me.” Beelzebub frowns. They turn their back to Gabriel. Disposable Demon follows them like a lost puppy. Heaven doesn’t have one. Every puppy in heaven is not lost, they know where they are going. Nevertheless, Gabriel imagines that’s what lost dog looks like on earth. He’s been imagining what things will look like on earth lately. Sandalphon’s knowledge does not suffice.

Gabriel looks at Beelzebub’s back. What a ridiculous costume. He wonders what would they look like if they let Gabriel introduces them to the world of human’s fashion, the only thing he thinks humans have done right. Their attire is so ridiculous Gabriel wants to peel them off.

Gabriel looks at those two figures until they are gone.

“Yes, I admit it, you were right.” Gabriel sighs, leaning back on his chair and looking at his colleague who’s sitting not far from him. “I’ve gone local.”

Fucking humans and their stupid feelings. Is this contagious? Is Aziraphale the source of this?

\- - -

“No, I am not!” Aziraphale crosses his arms, looking so offended that Gabriel has the audacity to come to his bookstore and accuse him of spreading humans’ feelings.

“Are you saying you have...feelings?” Aziraphale gapes.

“I don’t know what they are...This is not my territory.” Gabriel mumbles, “Some angels thought I’ve gone local, so maybe, maybe this happens because of the Anti-Christ or because the Armageddon didn’t happen like it's supposed to be!”

Aziraphale raises his eyebrows and says, “I assure you, it doesn’t work that way. What are these feelings you were talking about anyway?”

“I don’t know, but these feelings tend to bubble out of me when Lord Beelzebub appears.” Gabriel throws himself on the sofa, thinking about what happened earlier while looking through Aziraphale’s books collection.

Aziraphale looks Gabriel up and down. He hums lightly. _ Ah, of course _, of course. It is barely there, almost hesitant to bare its wings outside of Gabriel’s body but it was there nevertheless; a feeling of love.

But Aziraphale doesn’t work for heaven or Gabriel anymore. He decides to be mean about it, just because he can. Crowley must be proud (Yes, he is).

“Archangel Gabriel, I think, well, From the time I am living and observing here on earth, I suppose you’re suffering a human condition called--” The angel gulps, trying to think of some credible name, “Evol.” Aziraphale spreads both of hands and says it dramatically. If it was some clever humans or playful demons, they might snicker at the stupid name and let it go. However, this is Archangel Gabriel we’re talking about.

“What? Why didn’t I know that? Is it serious?”

“It won’t get you discorporated, if that is what you’re asking.” Aziraphale feigns seriousness then resumes talking, “You didn’t know it because it happens recently and...we were busy with the Antichrist.”

“Oh.” Gabriel nods. “Then what will happen to me?”

“You will have to stay on earth.”

“WHaT.” Gabriel widens his eyes.

“Oh, yes.” Aziraphale grins. “Normally the feelings will dissipate by itself for humans, so I guess you have to do it human’s way.”

Gabriel’s face twists with disgust then he sighs.

“Alright. I’m going to do the paperwork first then I’m coming back...on earth.” He gags and stands up, walking out of the store.

Aziraphale laughs giddily. This is better than telling Michael to miracle a duck!

\- - -

“Doesn’t that poor sod hate living like a human?” Beelzebub looks at Gabriel from afar. He looks kind of rough. Guess that is what happens when the clueless archangel stays on earth for too long.

“I don’t know.” Disposable demon tilts his head. “Might be.” He shrugs.

Beelzebub has heard from one of the flies that Archangel Gabriel decided to stay on earth for whatever reason. Beelzebub came here to see why or _ how _. They cannot imagine how Gabriel can stay on earth with that limited human knowledge.

No, they are not worried about the Archangel. They just want to know.

“Hey,” Beelzebub walks over to where Gabriel is. He is sitting on a bench, looking at nothing in particular.

When Gabriel sees Beelzebub, he looks happy before he’s kind of deflated. After a month of living on earth and he was beginning to think he won’t feel anything anymore, and here they are, making Gabriel feel things again.

“Why doesn’t it help?” Why Gabriel still feels things? 

“What doesn’t help?” Beelzebub squints their eyes.

“Aziraphale told me I have Evol.”

“And what the fuck izzz that?” Beelzebub says grumpily. The buzzing sound slips from their mouth.

“A human condition that shows symptoms of...having feelings. It’s getting worse when I saw you last time. I suspected it was the Antichrist’s doing.” 

Beelzebub stops. “What did you say?”

“I said it’s a human condition--”

“No, not that part. You have feelings when you saw me?” Beelzebub looks at Gabriel’s confused eyes.

“Yes?”

Beelzebub’s wheel slowly turns in their head. They think of what Gabriel says earlier and the mention of Aziraphale. Of fucking course, it’s Aziraphale. that weird angel is living with Crowley. Their devious and annoying personalities definitely rub off on each other.

“You stupid fuck. That was just ‘Love’ spelt backwards.”

“What.” Gabriel tilts his head, still not understand.

Aziraphale is lying? Gabriel gapes. _ Aziraphale is lying. _

“You love me, you idiot,” Beelzebub says exasperatedly and walks out without looking back. Gabriel just stands there, trying to process what that means.

\- - -

“You’re still here?” Beelzebub asks. _ It’s been months _.

“I am still here.” Gabriel sighs.

“Now that you know that condition is not real, why don’t you go back?”

“I don’t want to go back.”

“Oh.” Beelzebub grins. This is new. Does the Archangel like living like humans now? “Don’t tell me you consume ‘gross matter’ now.” Beelzebub does the air quotes.

“No, I don’t.” Gabriel twists his face. “Now that I know about my feelings for you I just...I’m tired of this stupid sides. Heaven, Hell--”

“Humans suck. Angels suck.” It seems like Beelzebub wants to continue to say Demons suck, but they stop themselves before it happens.

“I don’t want you to think that I only care about you after the Armageddon,” Gabriel says after they fell in silence. “Remember Egypt?”

“Before shit went down? Yeah.” Beelzebub nods. They think of the time when people worshipped them. That was a long time ago. They don’t think about that anymore. Sometimes they do remind themselves of the time when Gabriel came to talk to them. That time everything was bearable, even the ugly place like earth.

Beelzebub sighs. The past is the past. There was no more Lord of the High Place. Now they are the Prince of Hell. Lord of the Flies. They are content with that.

“You just have to return to heaven and do your stupid job as usual. The feelings will go away soon enough.” Beelzebub says and frowns simultaneously, thinking of what they say, suggesting the Archangel to go back and forget about his feelings for them.

Gabriel stares at Beelzebub. “I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to be alone up there.”

Beelzebub sighs in relief. It seems like Gabriel ignores the part where they told Gabriel to move on, but they still don’t know what the Archangel wants.

“If you think, even just a tiny bit, that I will go up there with you then you’re wrong.”

“I...did not ask you to go. I ask you to stay.”

“Stay? Stay where? Here? Gabriel, you’re an archangel. Your place is heaven.” 

“Maybe I don’t want heaven?” Gabriel asks to no one in particular, but he still stares at the Prince of Hell. “Maybe I don’t want the earth. And God Almighty, I definitely don’t want hell.”

“Then What do you want?” Beelzebub looks up, staring straight to Gabriel’s eyes and anticipating the Archangel’s answer.

“I want you.”

Gabriel doesn’t know where would be the best place for both of them, but he believes that he could find one. He doesn’t care about earth much, but if it means he can stay with them then so be it.


	9. Knock, knock, knock! Who's there, i' th' name of Beelzebub?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Baal."  
"That's not my fucking name anymore, and you know it." Beelzebub grits their teeth at Michael who just shrugs, taking pleasure in seeing the prince of hell's bad mood.  
"Well, Beelzebub is a mouthful to say."  
"Then don't say it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter's prompt is: “You could talk about it, you know?”

_Well, like Katy Perry once asked, "Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?"_

_Yes, yes, they do._

"Baal."

"That's not my fucking name anymore, and you know it." Beelzebub grits their teeth at Michael who just shrugs, taking pleasure in seeing the prince of hell's bad mood.

"Well, Beelzebub is a mouthful to say."

"Then don't say it." In fact, their skin is always crawling when they hear Michael's annoying voice.

"Alright. I'm just here to talk about the relationship between Demon Crowley and our Angel--"

"That's not my concern anymore. Talk to other demons, I'm busy with other things." Beelzebub stands up and walks to their room.

"What thing?" Michael asks.

"The thing," Beelzebub says as if it is obvious then closes the door.

\- - -

"Baal."

"Gabriel." Baal nodded at the Archangel.

"What are you doing?"

"Making some miracles? Lately, people have been praying to me, and I'm starting to get busy." Baal says, looking at the massive field of crops in front of their eyes.

"Ah, I see."

"What about you? Haven't seen you for quite a while." They smile at Gabriel who just dropped beside them, wings folded up.

"Being a messenger again. Same old jobs." Gabriel shook their head tiredly.

"You must be busy, being Heaven's favourite angel and all that."

"Meh," Gabriel sighed and says, "It's more fun with you here."

Baal blushed. They snapped their fingers, and suddenly an abundance of evergreen shrubs sprouted from the ground. Gabriel lightly touched leaves that were closest to him. He looked at the pink-tinged flowers and smiled. Baal was still not used to the world that God created just yet, but with Gabriel here they thought they could manage. Even Though both of them were in a different division, but they interacted almost every day (Gabriel insisted it was necessary).

\- - -

The prince of hell looks through the window shutter to see if Michael is gone yet. The Archangel is still there, talking with the demons who work there. All the demons there look bored with Michael. Some of them even sending an SOS glance to Beelzebub. They shut the shutter and walks straight to their desk, picking up a phone there.

Beelzebub looks through their contact list. They seem hesitant for a second. Still, they decide to press on the name that they have frequently been calling lately after the Anti-Christ Shitstorm.

"Good Morning!" Gabriel chirps. The demon rolls their eyes as soon as they hear the Archangel's voice. _He's still the same_.

"Concept of time is bollocks in heaven and hell, and you know that," They answer back with a bored voice.

"Really? I haven't noticed that at all," says Gabriel.

"Come and take your angel back. They're ruining our peace."

"Wait, does hell have peace? We don't even have that here."

"Our peace is anything but an angel inhabiting our space."

"Technically, we are all angels before the fall."

"But we fell. End of the story. Stop bringing the past up. They're not gonna change anything."

"That's too bad then." The Archangel hangs up. Beelzebub is not even sure if that counts as 'Okay, we'll get someone there to bring Michael back.' or "We don't care.'

Bel sighs, throwing the phone on the desk.

\- - -

"Don't you have a messenger job to do, Gabriel?" Baal asked, but there was no heat in the question.

"Well, it's not an urgent job. I'm taking a break."

Baal nodded and grinned, "Tea, then?"

Gabriel twisted his face, saying, "You know I don't consume these things. Ever."

"Well, we have a pretty long life to live, so let's see how long until you give up and decide to have tea with me." Baal smiled. Gabriel grumbled something like 'Never.' and he smiled back while tucking Baal's long hair behind their ear.

\- - -

Knock! Knock!

The knocking sound at the door destroys the silence in Beelzebub's room. They sigh. It seems like someone on the other side of the door is really keen to see them. They keep knocking as if their life depends on it.

_Fine_.

"What." The demon doesn't bother to make it a question. They stare at the disturber with disinterested.

"Hello, I'm a messenger. I heard there was a package I need to send off," Gabriel smiles while holding the door. His lilac eyes gleaming.

"Yes, get that garbage outta here." Beelzebub points at Michael who stares at Gabriel with interest.

"You yup you, shoo!" Gabriel turns back, looking at Michael who's still standing among the demons then he points while nodding at his colleague and waves.

"Archangel Gabriel! I'm here to speak with the demons about Demon Crowley and--"

"Whoops, I don't care. They are not my concern now, and not theirs either." Gabriel looks around hell's office before stops to look at Beelzebub.

Michael furrows their brows. _Then whose concern are they supposed to be?_

Beelzebub smirks. "If they want to fuck each other, just let them be. I want to see how this is going."

"Agreed!" Gabriel claps. "Wow, there's not plenty of time that I'll agree with the prince of hell, but lately we've been hitting it off!"

"Must be the Antichrist's doing," Beelzebub answers tiredly. Lately, that has been their go-to answer to all things, electricity doesn't work? The Antichrist's fault, water too hot? Definitely the Antichrist' will.

That Adam Kid, he created chaos and made Beelzebub's life confusing, so they're gonna blame him for everything from now on. It's either him or God, now that they got one more person to blame, they feel a tad bit better.

Michael sighs loudly. "We cannot do that! They are a demon and an angel!"

"Well, that does not stop them." Beelzebub raises their bare hands as if to say 'What else can we do?'

"Plus one of them is a demon. Do you think you can keep up? We're programmed to rebel."

"Are you?" Gabriel raises his eyebrow.

"Could be. Look at me." Beelzebub wriggles their eyebrows.

"Well, Who knows what God's plan is anyway?" Gabriel throws his hands up then sighs with resignation.

Beelzebub (and all of the demons in the office) says, "Drake."

"What?" Gabriel asks, confused.

"Nothing." Beelzebub shakes their head innocently. "You're not gonna get anything new from us anyway. If you don't believe then ask this dork here." They point their thumb at Gabriel.

"Yup. It's true. The Not Gonna Get Anything part, not the Dork part." Gabriel states.

Michael switches look from Gabriel to Beelzebub, and then at other demons before they heave a sigh. "FINE." Then they stomp their way to the door.

"Now that the annoying one is gone." Gabriel walks straight to the chair in front of Beelzebub's desk and adds, "Let's talk."

"We have nothing to talk about." Beelzebub closes the door. "And you are the annoying one."

"That's harsh." Gabriel feigns surprise before following Beelzebub to the door. He opens the door himself. Knowing Other's Boundaries is not in Gabriel's dictionary... Well, he doesn't even have a dictionary, to begin with.

\- - -

"What happened to you?" Gabriel's voice was full of concern when he saw Baal.

"_Humans_ happened to me, Gabriel. This was not God's doing or even my doing. It happened because they hate each other and want to spit in each other's face. This has nothing to do with who they believe in at all."

"What do you mean? I was at the other side of the earth earlier and I--Why are your wings black?"

"Because I'm a fucking demon now, Archangel Gabriel. I fell." Baal--Beelzebub spat. "No more God of Rain and Fertility or whatever the fuck they called me. I'm out."

They spread their wings and flew as far as they can, tears welling up in their eyes.

\- - -

Knock! Knock!

"I didn't call you," Beelzebub says without looking up at Gabriel who takes the liberty to open the door himself.

"I'm not your butler. I don't need to wait for your call." Gabriel jokes. "Long time no see. How's your day?" He throws himself on the chair in front of Beelzebub's desk.

"You just came here last week and the week before." Beelzebub complains then adds, "My day is ruined. Thanks to you."

“Your day won’t be ruined just because I’m here.” Gabriel crosses his legs. “In fact, it’s going to be a wonderful day for you.”

“How?” Beelzebub asks, curious.

“I bring your favourite’s gross matter!” Gabriel says, holding out a bag of junk food from the human world.

Beelzebub makes a meh sound, but they grab the bag anyway and begin to devour what’s inside the bag.

"You could talk about it, you know?" Gabriel stretches his leg and nudges Beelzebub’s shoes with his.

"What's there to talk about?"

"Your past, your present, or your future."

"I have none of them. Time is nothing to us, remember?"

“Hm.” Gabriel hums. It seems like he doesn’t want to give up talking about this topic with them. He tried several times before. The archangel is craving something from the prince of hell, and they don’t know if they dare to give it to Gabriel or not.

Beelzebub throws the burger wrapper in the trash can. They can’t help but wonder how the hell did Gabriel know what kind of food they like. He doesn’t even eat them.

"Have you ever missed the earth?" Gabriel asks when the room is in silence, no munching sound, no crinkling sound of food wrapper.

"Are you kidding? No. I hate earth. I hate _them_."

Beelzebub stares straight. However, they do not see Gabriel. Their mind went far to the past. They see shadows of humans standing around them, the one that used to pray to them.

Humans will be born. They will love, lust, and die. Sometimes they may pick up an angel, a demon or even a human, a symbol of something they see fit as a god, then worship them for a bit before throwing them out. They leave these empty shells of gods drifting through the wild wind and sea, then if they want to, the humans might pick these almost-forgotten gods back.

Aren't we just a plastic bag that way?

Some are reusable. Some are forgotten, never see the light of day again.

True dat, Katy perry, true dat.

What a joke.

"You're not that different." Beelzebub spits. Gabriel used to be so powerful. He used to be a fucking messenger of God, but right now he's just a feeble character in a fictional story humans tend to forget.

"Different from what? Oh, you mean, from you? I don't really mind." Gabriel shrugs. "I'm tired of being a powerful being. I just want to stay quiet, living my life, whatever the hell that is."

"You are naive if you really think we have a life to live."

"We don't?"

"We do?" Beelzebub tilts their head.

"Well, I don't think she would mind if I decide to lay low for a while.”

“You? Lay low? And you think she wouldn’t mind? You’re her messenger.”

"Since when did you care about what the Ineffable thinks? If those two idiots can do what they want, then we can do that too."

"You mean Crowley and--"

"Yes."

Beelzebub blinks, wheels turning in their head. "And by 'we' you mean--"

"Us? Yes."

"We're different than them." The demon takes a deep breath. "They found each other while we--we were separated from each other."

The demon grits their teeth. They should have been together. They should be able to have what they want if it wasn’t for those humans and their conflicts.

“Well, nothing keeps us apart anymore,” Gabriel says. In fact, he never thinks something was preventing them from being together from the start. Beelzebub is scared because they fell, and he’s been waiting for the right time for their shell to crack.

Beelzebub stares blankly at the papers scattered on the desk.

"Tea?" Gabriels sit straight. He pulls the power from heaven and snaps his fingers. A teapot and two cups appear out of thin air and drop lightly on Beelzebub's desk. Beelzebub twitches at the clinking sound.

"I thought you don't consume these things." Beelzebub's eyebrow raises up.

"We've lived a pretty long life, and I decide it's time to have tea with you." Gabriel smiles softly at the demon in front of him.

And Beelzebub thinks, well, what could go wrong with a cup of tea?

Turns out nothing goes wrong, but nothing goes right either. It’s just them, being them.

They should have done this a long time ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm still using prompt from fictober even though it's not fictober anymore...welp 5-6 fics and I'm done :P


	10. In Which Gabriel Decided To Eat Something (Inef. Bureaucracy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I could really eat something,” Gabriel said, and Beelzebub had to do a double-take. They can’t believe their ears. Hungry? Gabriel? After all this time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the prompt: “I could really eat something.”

“I could really eat something,” Gabriel said, and Beelzebub had to do a double-take. They can’t believe their ears. Hungry? Gabriel? After all this time?

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Gabriel reached the pepper shaker on the table and played with it like an easily-distracted human child (Not like Beelzebub knew how human child behaves. They’d never met one).

“You want to eat human food?” Beelzebub asked. They turned their head and signalled the waitress to come to their table.

“Well, I want to try.” Gabriel’s voice got higher than usual. Even he himself doesn’t look sure if he wanted to eat or not.

“Sure, whatever. What do you want? I’m gonna take two breakfast sets, one strawberry milkshake and make it really sweet.” The prince of hell turned to order like it was something they are pretty used to and it was. Crowley and the other goonies didn’t know this, but Beelzebub always sneaked out and came to the human world when they were bored.

“I…will have what you have.”

“Two more of the breakfast sets?” The waitress asked. Beelzebub appreciated her nonchalant expression, or let’s say this human might experience a lot of weird occurrences that she didn’t think it was strange for a tiny being like Beel to order two large sets of an English breakfast.

Gabriel didn’t know whether he should confirm or not because he’d never eaten human’s ‘gross matter’ before, so Beelzebub said instead, “One set for him, plus coke.”

The waitress nodded before she walked away.

“Coke.” Gabriel perked up, tilting his head a little bit then added, “Like cocaine?”

“Calm down, you uncultured swine. It’s a fizzy drink.”

“It’s a drink that is fuzzy. It’s very disgusting. You’ll love it.” Beelzebub shrugged. 

“It is ours or yours?”

“Crowley’s.” They didn’t even want to take credit for it because they thought it was the fizzy drink was stupid and should be heaven’s creation instead of hell. What a dumb drink.

That’s why it’s perfect for Gabriel.

“Ah. That bastard.” Gabriel nodded.

“Yeah, speaking of that bastard, he and your angel are moving to some human village, I think.”

“Aziraphale is not my angel.”

Beelzebub waited for the ‘Not any more’ phase to come, but it didn’t.

Plates of Full English Breakfast came. Gabriel instantly frowned when he noticed the food. He picked up a fork and poked a piece of black pudding like it offended in somehow.

“What’s this?”

“Black pudding—look, do you really want to eat human food?” Beelzebub asked, still not believe what was happening. They pulled two plates in front of them and began to eat like they were starving (and in fact, they were. Hell didn’t have food and Beelzebub secretly loved devouring human food when they came up here).

Gabriel shrugged. He decided to try eating one. The archangel’s expression looked hilarious that Beel had to stifle a laugh between each bite.

“I do want to eat human food. I want to try to see what’s it all about.”

“Humans are disgusting.” Beelzebub chews. “But their food is the only thing they have done right.”

Gabriel nodded while sipping his coke. He eyed a glass of strawberry milkshake in front of Beelzebub, so the prince of hell pushed it to the angel in front of him. The second Gabriel swallowed the liquid his eyes widened, looking accusingly at Beelzebub.

“Why didn’t you order this for me instead of this black liquid? This is _so_ great.” Gabriel continued sipping.

“Hey! That’s mine.”

“Not anymore.”

Beelzebub shook their head and reached for Gabriel’s coke instead. Gabriel hummed happily over _his_ milkshake.

“So the reason why I asked you to meet today is because of this,” Beelzebub snapped their fingers and suddenly there was a stack of paper in front of Gabriel.

“Hm, what’s this?”

“An official truce contract,” Beel said then continued, “We don’t want to admit, but that angel Aziraphale was right. We don’t want to fight in a war that we are not so sure why it has to happen in the first place. And from what I see, the human is already doing great destroying the world themselves.”

Gabriel nodded. One hand holding a paper while the other is holding a toast. His eyes skimmed the word across the paper.

“Alright, so you suggest we have a truce and do what? Nothing? Are we supposed to hold hands and be friends now?” Gabriel swallowed the word _like those times before the fall_, but Beelzebub didn’t need to know that.

“Maybe. Look, we can be civil. Look at us now, we’re having breakfast together.”

“That’s because it’s you and me. Can you see any angel having meals with a demon?”

“Crowley and Aziraphale?” Beelzebub raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, right.” Gabriel nodded slowly. “But our jobs cancel each other out? How can we are at peace when we know that you guys are trying to bring the human to your side.”

“Read the papers. We’re concluding that in the future there might not be only your side or our side.”

Gabriel skimmed the text again, asking, “Human side? We’re going to fight them?”

“We’re not so sure yet.” Beelzebub sighed, “I didn’t think I’m going to be good with all the angels either. After all, you guys were the one who kicked us out.”

“_I_ didn’t,” Gabriel said, recalling the past.

“Yeah yeah, but that doesn’t mean you were not on their side. You were the archangel for satan’s sake.” Beelzebub pushed the empty plate on the side and began to eat the other one.

“So what do we do?”

“Truce?” The prince of hell pointed at the contract.

“Truce.”

*

So Instead of going to chase after that angel and demon couple or making angels fighting a war with demons, the archangel and the prince of hell just kept having meals together. The second time was another breakfast at the same diner, the third was a Korean barbeque downtown, the fourth was at a Japanese restaurant (where Gabriel refused to try sushi because ‘it looks fucking gross’).

The third time they met Gabriel brought back an official truce contact with his signature. So all the demons and angels have stopped going at each other throat when they saw each other. Some still did their job as usual but most of the time, the human was doing fine themselves, whether to be good or bad. Heaven and hell didn’t even need to lift a finger.

What surprised them the most was the fact that several angel-demon couples were increasing A LOT. It seemed like all these 6000 years, Crowley and Aziraphale were not the only heaven and hell agents that ‘work together’. They were just better at hiding it than these two.

“Do you think the Almighty know about this?” Gabriel asked the sixth time that they met.

“I guess. Does that mean we’ve worked for nothing for so long?” Beelzebub frowned, thinking of all the time they’ve been giving orders and reading reports, _falsified_ reports.

“It’s not nothing. I know you had a lot of fun fooling human in the eighties.”

“I did. That was fun.” Beelzebub grinned. Today they were at a small restaurant in London. Gabriel ordered a blueberry pancake (who would have thought that the archangel had a sweet tooth.) and Beelzebub ordered spaghetti and meatballs. The waitress rolled their eyes when she said pasta is not for breakfast, so Beelzebub secretly played a small mind-trick on her when she walked back to the kitchen. Gabriel noticed but didn’t say anything.

“I wish I know it before though that there are others out there who do…this.” Gabriel pointed to himself then at Beelzebub.

“Do what?”

“Like, being together. I was looking for a way to talk to you. I even suggesting human food!”

“I thought you like eating.” Beelzebub’s eyebrows raised.

“Well, at first I pretended to like it but then it was growing on me. I hated it before. I heard that human do this kind of thing when they want to be together with someone.”

“And you want to be with me?” Beelzebub tilted their head.

“Of course, idiot. Why would you think I’m taking an interest in a gross matter in the first place? I want to hang out with you.”

Beelzebub slowly nodded.

“You don’t want that?” _You don’t want me?_ was implied. Two lilac eyes staring at Beelzebub expectedly.

The prince of hell rolled their eyes, answering, “Who do you think suggesting a truce in the first place, you dimwit. I’ve always wanted to be with you.” _Even before I fell_ was implied, but Gabriel didn’t need to know that. Not yet.


End file.
